


Reaching Forward

by Manager_K



Series: Return of Kings [1]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Anger/Hurt, Angry TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Brothers, Crying, Depressed TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), DreamSMP - Freeform, Family, Hurt TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Hurt/Comfort, LOL DREAMS IN PRISON DICKASS, L’Manburg, Older Sibling Wilbur Soot, Post-Disc Confrontation, Post-L’manburg, Resurrected Wilbur Soot, Slow recovery, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide mention, Technoblade isn’t mentioned lol, Trauma, Traumatized Tommyinnit (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 10:21:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28954893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Manager_K/pseuds/Manager_K
Summary: Tommy might love his brother but he’s allowed to air his grievancesAlternatively Tommy yells at Resurrected Wilbur because he deserves it
Series: Return of Kings [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2125839
Comments: 13
Kudos: 287





	Reaching Forward

**Author's Note:**

> I genuinely haven’t written anything like this before, so if they seem OOC or the writing isn’t good, do forgive me!!! I just wanted to put this out there because I wanted to see smth like it. Uhm, thoughts on the comments would be nice to see!!!

When Wilbur came back, it was unannounced. Unceremonious. Unexpected. Everyone was surprised. Most of all Tommy, who out of everyone seemed the least impressed. Maybe even resentful. 

Despite his obvious distaste for his newly revived brother, everyone lumped the older with him. Of course the blonde boy took him in, it was expected of him. 

Wilbur could tell something was off, as shitty as he had been in the past, Wilbur was still Tommy’s older brother. He probably knew the younger better than he knew himself. So the response he got when he asked what was wrong, although not unexpected was shocking. 

“Do you even remember what happened?” Tommy had asked, his tone spiteful, and his gaze wrathful

It caused Wilbur to pause, wincing uncomfortably as he admitted that he did. 

“I fucking loved you, did you know that?” Tommy said, his hands shaking violently, head turning away to look at the moon in hopes that he could really hide any tears from his stupidly perceptive brother

”Tommy-“ the reaching hand was smacked away, it didn’t hurt at all, the younger cared too much to hurt him even still

”I loved you, I idolized you, and you hurt me, you used me in more wars than I can count on my own two hands,” he made a show of holding up his scarred hands, calloused from violent bloodshed and pain that he both received and gave to others, “you were supposed to protect me, why didn’t you?”

It left Wilbur silent, there wasn’t any excuse he could give, he knew that apologizing would only make the boy angry. What could he even say? There was nothing he could do to repent, he had died once already, and Tommy still hadn’t forgiven him then. 

Even though he had been rejected before he reached out and placed a tentative hand on his brothers shoulder, “You know it’s because I was stupid and going crazy, I can’t fix it, I know I can never apologize enough, but what do you need from me?”

”If you want to shout at me, you can. If you want me to grovel I will,” He could feel his heart break even more than it already had as Tommy shrugged his hand off, “If you just want to hug and then go back to whatever fantasy you need, I can act any role.” 

It took him a moment to hear the sniffling, to see the tears on the hard floor, winking at him with a depressed malice as they fell, and his body ached to wrap the boy in front of him up in a hug and never let go.

Everything was different now. There were no more cold nights and snuggling on the couch, no more laughter as they tossed mud at each other in the garden. It wasn’t the childhood and family he remembered. 

It was the aching echoes of who they once were, children grown into soldiers and war heroes, teenagers grown into villains and the epitome of evil. There was no splendor, no glory. Just a terrible pit of regret and sadness that Wilbur had no idea how to fill.

”I don’t want you to act idiot, I just want to go to sleep for once and not wake up afraid that someone is coming to get me,” Tommy turned to him, eyeing the way his hands twitched looking to reach out, his glare obvious and seething as he wiped away tears that had begun to flow freely

“I don’t want to be choked up on the thought of you telling me I’m not enough, know that you’re not gonna burst into my room and make me fight another shitty war,” he paused to press the palm of his hands into his eyes, forcing in a shuddering breath, “I’ve already got enough anger issues, which I got from you by the way, that are causing other wars.” 

Wilbur could only stare, his throat closing up as he watched the boy who he had raised, admit that he was afraid of him. Of everything he had done to Tommy. How he was still afraid of him, that all he could think of when he saw the other was fear. 

“I want you to promise you’re not going to do that anymore, and even when you do, because I know you’re not the same as back then, I’m still gonna look at you and see that crazed look in your eyes, I’m gonna see you looking at me like a, like a-“ 

Tommy could barely speak, giving Wilbur a wounded look that spoke for him. The scars on his little brothers face only added to any guilt he had felt, and he again reached out, his arm moving to cradle the boys face.

Baring his teeth like a scared animal Tommy batted away the hand.

”I fucking loved you, I still do. As much as I’m afraid of you Wilbur, as much as you haunt my fucking dreams? I love you more than I love myself, I left the bastard who beat me and tormented me more than you alive-“ He wasn’t yelling, wasn’t screaming, or sobbing, but he was loud, firm in his words, because they sure as hell meant a lot and needed to be said

”I kept someone worse than you alive because I still love you, and it tore me apart to watch you fucking die like that. You abused me, and then you have the fucking gall to get an easy death, begged our Dad to kill you.”

Wilbur stood back at that, awkwardly fiddling with a loose string on his sweater, he could only feel shame. He knew what he did, he knew how he did it, why he did it. He wasn’t a good brother, he knew that.

”I’m sorry Tommy, I know it doesn’t make up for what I did, but for what it’s worth, I am sorry.” 

It only seemed to make the blonde boy angrier, he seemed to bristle, like a furious raccoon. His eyes were still misty, but they were bright and absolutely frenzied. 

“It’s too late for an apology, too fucking late in the game for an apology Wilbur, do you know what even happened to me after you died? Do you fucking know what they did to me?” He still wasn’t yelling at the brunette, but his words were sharp, and they continued to cut deeper than shrapnel

”After you died, everyone fucking looked to me, all they could see was you and looked to me for guidance, and even after I gave it to Tubbo, they still saw you.”

Tommy continued to sniffle, trying to keep himself together as he got his story across, “I wasn’t you, and that was the problem. And then I finally turned into you, because everyone was expecting it right? They turned on me, everyone turned on me Wilby, even after I became what they thought I was.”

Wilbur’s eyes stung with unshed tears as he listened to Tommy’s voice break, and once again reached out to hold the other. He didn’t let the taller into his space at all. 

“How can I help you? What do you need me to do Toms?”

All he got in reply was a heartbreaking whine, the other pushing past him to go and stand by an open window, his face turned away from the other.

“I wish I had died during my second exile, I could talk about the comedic irony about being exiled by the president for a second time, but the actual experience was hell.” The blue eyed teen had his head propped up in his hand, seemingly searching for something beyond the horizon

“And you were there, maybe technically, but you were so scrambled in the ‘ead that you barely even counted. Nobody visited but that green bastard, and it was like the first exile all over again, the parallels are un-fucking-canny.”

As Wilbur studied his brother slumped form he could see small unnoticed details he hadn’t seen before. The way he curled in on himself, taking up as little space as possible, the way he angle his head to hear any small shift in the tallers movement without having to look at him, the way he kept his unused hand close to the small blade Wilbur knew he had hidden away in his ankle. 

Maybe Wilbur hadn’t given him all of these responses to possible threats personally, but he was the catalyst to the things that had. He at least recognized that. 

“But you won’t tell me what I can do Tommy, if there isn’t anything I can do, what do you want from me?”

Tommy’s hand on his leg twitched, maybe he was thinking of killing Wilbur himself, Wilbur knew that he deserved it.

“You can’t fucking do anything, because I don’t know anymore, I feel like my heart is going to burst out of my fucking chest every time someone talks about you negatively, but I want to beat your face in until I can’t even recognize you Wilbur.”

Wilbur sighed, and finally turned away, he walked towards the small kitchen in the house they were currently sharing, resting his hands on the counter, his head hanging low as he listened to Tommy.

”I’m so tired, so very violently tired Wilbur. It’s exhausting being your little brother, being the kid that everyone expects me to be. I know they wouldn’t hesitate to kick me out again if I wasn’t who they wanted.”

Wilbur couldn’t even react at this point, and a large pregnant pause settled over them, there really wasn’t anything either of them could say. 

”I tried to kill myself you know.”

That got a reaction out of Wilbur, his head jerking harshly, eyes wide and worried as he tried to find any answer in Tommy’s slouching figure.

”I didn’t successfully, as you can see. But I can remember vividly, looking at the lava when Dream wouldn’t let me come back home, it was so warm and I tried to jump.” Tommy seemed more resigned now, less tense and more, more like a dying animal that had no fight left

“It reminded me of you, as hellish as that sounds, it was warm and reminded me of home with you, before we became,” he lazily gestured between the two of them, “before we became this pitiful excuse of a family.” 

Wilbur was the one crying now, imagining his baby brother, little Tommy, feeling enough grief to feel comforted by the festering hellhole that is the Nether. 

“I’m sorry Tommy,” Wilbur managed to heave, his body shaking as he wiped away tears, “I’m sorry I wasn’t the brother you needed, I’m sorry I did that to you-“

“I know, I wish it wasn’t like this. I still love you, and I know you love me. You still hurt me, and you, a part of me wants you to feel the way I did.” Tommy finally looked at him, his face was regretful and his nose pink from crying, but he still managed to look at Wilbur with enough love and wonder that it crippled him

Wilbur didn’t even realize he had hit the ground until Tommy had walked over and placed a hand on top of his head, and Wilbur grabbed him and pulled the younger down to the floor with him. 

And for once Tommy didn’t pull back or reject his the hug that came after.

”I want to do better this time, but I don’t know if I can Wilby, maybe when I’m not as tired, maybe I can yell at you and make you feel like shit, but I’m just so tired right now,” Tommy gripped onto his sweater tightly, his fingers digging into his back as Wilbur sobbed 

“I’ll wait for that then, you can get strong enough to yell at me and then we can try and do better-“ 

Tommy interrupted Wilbur blabbing with his own hiccuping, “Did you ever even care? I know that you weren’t, completely okay either, but did you even think about me?”

”I loved you more than life itself Toms, I’m so sorry I wasn’t able to prove it to you, I’m sorry that, that I left. I’m sorry that I let it get this bad Tommy.”

”Please don’t go again, don’t leave to where I can’t follow or yell at you, it might actually kill me this time.”

Wilbur clutched at the boy, nodding as he ran a soothing hand through his hair. It would take another death to separate him from the boy, even if the younger told him to leave he wouldn’t. 

“I won’t, I promise I won’t go away again.”

**Author's Note:**

> Any advice on my writing? If it’s any good tell me!! If it’s shit also tell me, I’m looking to improve and get more involved in writing in general, so feedback is welcome! Also wtf are tags


End file.
